Venting, a lot of venting

It seems that all i ever try to do is make everyone around me happy. trying to make everyone around me happy has always sounded like a great thing but it seems like the more i've tried to make everyone happy the more i make everyone unhappy. I just get trapped sometimes in trying to do what i think would make one person happy, but in doing so, i do something that makes someone else unhappy. the sad thing through all of this is that i hardly ever think about what would make me happy. I'm so concerned with other peoples feeling and making sure everyone is happy that i never look to make sure i'm happy. because of this i have deveoped this reputation as the "nice guy", so therefore if i do anything that isn't catering to someone's wishes i immediately become an asshole. behaivor that would be brushed of for another person becomes percieved as so much worse for me because of my previous behaivor. I guess this is the perfect example of no great deed goes unpunished. I never used believe in the saying "nice guys finish last". however, now i've come to the realization that when someone is nice, peopel realize this and start to take advantage of it (why anyone would try to take advantage of someone who is voluntarrily nice is beyond me). People are just such complete jerks sometimes, they know that you will bend over backwards to help them if they ask, so they start asking for the most ridiculous things. that's not even the worst part, the worst of it is when you say that you can't help them one time, maybe you had plans or don't feel like it, they turn around and try and make you feel like a complete jerk for not being able to help them that one time. when was the last time they helped you? what makes all this even worse is the fact that i feel like i don't want to change, i like being a nice guy and i shouldn't have to change just to be able to do my own thing. i can't stand it anymore, people thinking they know what's best for someone else. you're not in my fucking shoes, you don't know the stuff that's unique to me. Knowing what's better for another person makes sense when someone is a child. when someon is in their mid-twenties you can't possibly know what's best for them. you think because you've lived a few more years that you know what's better? well, you don't. I've never understood the idea that just because you've lived a few more years automatically makes you more experienced. It doesn't. Have you ever gone out and travelled, ever read a book, ever try something that you didn't know. What you do in those years is what determines you experience not the raw number of years. that's the same bull as people claiming you should respect your elders. Don't get me wrong, you should definietely respect, not because they're you're elders, but because they're people. I'm just sick and tired of people treating people in a way that they hated bein treated when they were that age. also, just because someone is doing something that you don't agree with it doesn't mean that you can go ahead and tell them to not do it. it's not like the person is doing something that is harming others. why can't you just let people live their lives the way they want to? they don't want to harm you. but the way you keep them builds a lot of anger and rage inside and even though you may not notice this it's only because i've become a master at hiding my emotions, not letting anyone know how hurt i am inside. just pretend everything is going fine. no one ever asked how are you doing? what do you think? what would you want to do? no, no one knows what i'm thinking when i'm laying in bed trying to sleep, going in and out of sleep. Of course no one knows this, everyone thinks that i'm just fine, just fine. But what you don't realize is that the only reason i'm always smiling, joking and laughing is to make sure the anger and sadnes doesn't come out. You think i'm like you and enjoy myself by just sitting around watching TV, but i'm not, i like reading. You're always amazed that i read so much but it's because it helps me escape. I like nature and it's pretty damn hard to enjoy it when you're indoors. When you wanted to chop down two giant, beautiful pine trees in the backyard, i said no, you thought it was because i didn't want to work on it. When you wanted to concrete the entire front yard i said no, again you thought it was because i didn't want to work on it. You never thought it was because i didn't want to have a front yard with no grass or a back yard with no trees. Sure concrete in the front would require less maintenance but what's the point of having a house if you don't have a lawn. WHat do you think I am, a kid? you expect me to be home all the time and give you specific times when i will be back. Guess what, it ain't happening anymore. If i'm out, i'm out with friends. They may not be the friends that that you would approve of, becuase they're different, but guess what, they're always there for me and they listen to me and don't try to tell me what i should do unless i ask them. I don't want to become like you when i'm older so that i just sit and watch tv all day. i like going out and just hanging out. i'm sorry you never experienced it but that doesn't mean that you should prevent me from doing so or that i'm not going to.

Fantasy Fools

*****Disclaimer******

*This will only interest people who are sports and fantasy fans*

I'm not going to lie, I love my fantasy sports. I'm not a fanatic by any means but i like to think i can hold my own against the Harpingers of Death and Eli's Coming. While my draft has had some disappointments it has had some pleasant surprises. For example, now I have two quarterbacks that practically anyone else would kill to have (Drew Brees and Jay Cutler). My disappointments however are just as substantial (Ryan Grant and Tory Holt), at least Grant can say that he's injured, Holt and Rams just plain suck. I'm not really sure why i just said all of that stuff because that has nothing directly to do with what i wanted to write about. What I wanted to write about was dumb ass reporters and idiots who want people to think that they know all there is to know. What really got on my nerves was people praising the outstanding (and they were outstanding) games Brett Favre and Larry Johnson had. Larry Johnson played against the Denver Broncos, while a very formidable team, a team that nevertheless beats you by outscoring you, not shutting you down. Larry Johnson gained ~200yards on the Broncos is very impressive BUT, it is the broncos. A player of LJ's perceived skill level should be able to do that. Moving on to Mr. Favre, the man had a career high 6 touchdown passes. That too is extremely impressive BUT, once again this was against the Arizona Cardinals which means they were playing against a team that is just below the level of their practice squad.

Up to this week LJ was play like garbage and Favre was mediocre at best. Now all of a sudden, you hear people coming out of the woodwork saying how Brett Favre and LJ are back. The rest of the league needs to watch out and Packer fans must be feeling like idiots for letting Favre go. Both Favre and LJ should be starters on every fantasy team, week in week out. Look, I had Favre on one of my teams, along with Rivers and Brees. Favre, was on the bench and i never once second guess my decision. I would play Rivers before Favre because I know what I'm going to be getting from Rivers and Brees, with Favre it's a crap shoot. To say that these players should become starters because of their performances this week is to weaken the very same argument. Why would you say that a player who has had ONE good game is worthy of starting? Why would you ignore their multiple performance versus formidable opponents and go by the one game they had in which they performed well? You shouldn't. Remember, the exception cannot prove the rule.

P.S. Whoever says Brett Favre passed a major test by beating the Arizona Cardinals is an idiot. Since when have they become a team of any relevance? Stop being stupid you'll make us look bad to the aliens.

Admitted

So, I recently got a letter indicating that i had gotten into law school. Even though the law school is not the most prestigious or well known, I took quiet a liking to it and was excited when I got the acceptance letter. I started telling everyone: my girlfriend, family, friends. Once the excitement of it wore off I started thinking about paying for it. Tuition at this school is 30000+ just for classes, on top of that i need to add the price of books, housing, food, bills, etc. I just called the school to find out how much, if any assistance I may receive for schooling and was informed that I did not qualify for any scholarships. The advisor was very nice and told me she would look into my file and see if I may become eligible for any further down the road. My mood was not high because I did not want to be in debt for $100,000+ when I got out of law school. While there is hope, my chances are not looking good. I'm still going to call back and see if i can plead my way into some grant money. I know i have to take out loans I just don't want it to be 100%. I really want to go here, but I can't afford to be in that much debt upon graduating. I don't know what to do. I do no want to ask people for money. The only people I want to be responsible for paying for this are my girlfriend and me (wouldn't mind government assistance though). What makes this even worse is the fact that I will not be able to work my first year and will be completely dependent on non-income money. Another option I have is enrolling in the part-time program so that i will be able to work and that way it would take me only one year longer to complete school. I should really set up a meeting with my advisor there and go over all this stuff.

Minesweeper

So, i really felt like writing but i didn't know what to write about. I was a little down and bored and at work so i decided to start playing some minesweeper on my computer. I have to say that off all the games that come with any given PC, minesweeper is the best one for me, although hearts is pretty fun too. Now, as fun as minesweeper is it is a pretty tricky game to understand initially and a hell of a game to try and explain to someone. Nevertheless, i love the game. OK, this blog is not about the game of minesweeper but about a certain group of people affiliated with it. One day I was bored at work and started researching minesweeper (yes, you read that right). Quickly into my research i found out that there is an organization out there that is campaigned for the end of minesweeper because "Windows Minesweeper (Winmine) is an offence against the victims of the mines, and to those who sacrifice themselves, risking their own life, clearing the lands contaminated by these implements," (http://www.theregister.co.uk/2001/06/21/windows_minesweeper_is_an_offence/). At first i though this was a joke when i saw it on wikipedia but alas, it is not. There are people out there who believe that someone sitting in there cubicle playing a game that has to do with mines, makes them come to the conclusion that they too can go into the fields and start clearing mines. I play minesweeper semi-regularly and i can tell you that when I'm playing it i always have my camo gear on and am coordinating with my friends, and once I'm done with a puzzle, i call up the pentagon and tell them that they should hire me to be a mine sweeper because 1) it's obviously just like a grid in real life with numbers everywhere and 2) mine sweeping is such an appealing job. I know that there is no way in hell that i can do what those heroic soldiers do on the battlefields, i have no illusions about that. I don't play the game and think less of them, on the contrary, I'm thinking "hey, i can barely do this on a computer and there are people out there who do this in real life and they can't just press the F2 button when they make a mistake". My respect for them actually increases and i never belittle them. That would be the same as saying that WWII video games are offensive towards WWII vets. WHAT? A little more extreme would be saying someone who plays a Madden football game is offending football players and not acknowledging the difficulty of playing professional football. No, i play Madden video games because I have no chance in hell to ever play pro football.
I know that i picked on the people that protest minesweeper the most and i feel kind of bad about that. Not because it wasn't warranted, because it was totally warranted. However, i used the minesweeper example to show how people sometimes need to campaign against something, doesn't really matter what just something. I have no problem with that, i think it is one of the most democratic things that a person could do, however, i do also think that not all causes are created equally. I think causes that directly affect peoples lives are much more pertinent than causes that may "offend" people (i.e. fight against AIDS vs. fight against trans fat). This would probably carry more weight if a person who actually has swept for mines came out and actually said he was offended.
I could be wrong, but I doubt it.

Common Courtesy

This is just a general plea to people. Please, when you're out in public with a large group of friends (i.e. your friends) be mindful of the comments you make. I don't want this to be confused with not saying what you feel around your friends, on the contrary, i think your friends are absolutely the best place you can can just be yourself. when you are among friends you do not have to worry about what you're going to say and if that might offend someone. For the most part, friends tend to be willing to listen, give advice, and if you say something offensive or inappropriate they will let you know but everyone will move on, but I digress. the situation I was referring to is in regards to making comments about someone girl/boyfriend. If you make a comment about someone and that persons boy/girlfriend decides to follow up on it or counter, don't become offended if the topic leads it's way to a place you're uncomfortable. You opened up the dialogue with your "insightful" comment but when the couple you were talking to decides to continue it with a legitimate response don't start complaining that this is getting uncomfortable and they should stop. Did you think about your comments and whether or not they make them uncomfortable? If you know certain topics, by nature, make you uncomfortable (the sex life of two of your friends) then don't bring them up. However when you're comment is along the lines of "that's because you have a vagina" don't be shocked and appalled when the boyfriend tells you that "yes, she does, and I really like it like that". The rebuttal was in response to a very poorly thought out comment that could have very easily have resulted in a spat. While the response is not necessarily the most obvious one, it's still not anything that can be seen as purposefully said with malicious intent because it's still a natural response. Think about the comment you made to invoke an "uncomfortable" response and whether or not your initial comment might have invoked a similar reaction from others. 

Initial Outburst

For the last month or so I've been witnessing people all over the country go crazy over these primary elections, as if they were the single most important thing in our lives. Everyday i turn on the television and i see the unending coverage on Hillary, Obama; sometimes even McCain and Huckabee (as if Huckabee ever had a chance). I'm not going to pretend that I'm not partisan, because i am. I do have a preference towards Democrats more than Republicans, but I am not going to be sitting in front of the television and going crazy over each and every state, because Wolf Blitzer and his 52 television sets tell me that this is going to change everything. I've seen the hate and animosity that politics brings out in people and frankly I just don't understand why. Yes, there is going to be a new president, which, trust me I'm looking forward to as well, but in all reality that's probably going to be the biggest change. I know I sound extremely cynical right now and maybe I am or maybe I've come to the realization that politicians will say a lot of wonderful things in order to get elected and that's it. People need to understand that Mr. Obama and/or Mrs. Clinton are not champions of the people. It's kind of hard to be a champion for the people when you're getting thousands upon thousands of dollars in contributions from corportations who expect you to show them favors when you're in office. I think what I'm trying to say is that the novelty of a new president will wear off very quickly once we come to realize that the tax cuts s/he promised are not coming, the troops are not coming and gas prices are still climbing. In the end politicians will be politicians and if suddenly decide that they are the beacons for our lives we will be in a worse situation than before.

Yes, I vote and you might think that that contradicts everything that I just wrote. Well, it does. Three reasons why you shouldn't look at that contradiction as proof positive that I can't be trusted: 1) Contradictions are present in your everyday life, 2) don't consider me the barometer for your life and actions and most importantly 3) I get those cool stickers.